Wide Awake, Not Sleeping: I've long held the position that decaffeinated anything is a buzzkill society would be better off without. Now there's a big steaming cup of science to back me up. Yes, decaffeinated coffee is officially dodgy. Specifically, most decaf coffee is made from fattier beans than "leaded" coffee, as it were. When you try to make a healthier version of something, there's always, always a trade-off. There's just no getting ahead. Unless you have allergies or violent IBS, may as well enjoy the originals in moderation. At least that way, the only side-effects you have to worry about are a result of your own excess, which light and healthy versions tend to encourage anyway. Who hasn't said, "Oh, these are Lite Mini-Muffins, I can eat eleventeen of them!"
On a related note, I've had it with the Splenda. Makes my green tea taste like sewer. May look into the Stevia.
Now Al Gore Can Watch Me Steal Music: You've lost the last two presidential elections, and you're the minority party in both houses. What's a Democratic party gotta do to get votes? A free toaster with every new account? A chicken in every pot? (Pot in every chicken?) Better than that: cheap interwebs in every home! I can hear Ohio turning blue-state right now. Look, regardless of what party you're aligned with, making the federal government your ISP is a bad, bad idea. Don't believe Nancy "Screeching Weasel" Pelosi when she says universal broadband "will put all Americans, no matter where they live, no more than a keystroke or a mouse click away from the jobs and opportunity broadband both creates and supports". Um, replace "jobs" and "opportunity" with "p0rn" and "eBay". While you're at it, just back up a truckload of beer and pizza to my doorstep and I'll collect unemployment while I download "job applications" all day.
Granted, I see where they're going with this. And it's actually well-intentioned. More than a few elephants will cross the aisle on this one (paging Mr. Specter). But like any proposed universal service, it's doomed to fail. Bill Gates would be all over universal healthcare, but universal internet? Bush would have to launch a Fallujah-style takeover of Redmond, WA before that happens. Never mind the hell Sprint, Verizon and SBC/Yahoo would raise. Trust me, Dems, you don't wanna go there. Besides, now that Bush is pissing off conservatives as well as liberals, you actually have a chance.
Roo The Day: Congratulations to Australia, who after years of soccer misery, have finally qualified for a World Cup, beating Uruguay last night on penalty kicks. The Socceroos have been Cub-like in their World Cup qualifying failure, although to be fair, they've had to battle Argentina more often than not to get out of their group, itself a geographical hodgepodge. The last time Oz was in a World Cup was 1974, also in Germany. They will be a sentimental favorite of many, and besides, anytime Australia's invited to a world party, you know, you just know it's gonna rock. Even though it's not his brand of footy, I wonder what Reg Reagan thinks of all this.
Bad Monkey! Bad!: Paris Hilton has a bad monkey. Oh, Paris. What the hell are we going to do with you? It's bad enough that you've mastered your
one single solitary facial expression, now you've gone all Ross Geller on us. Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free? Plus, you're always, always giving into it. Tell me, Paris, do you love your monkey, or do you love me? Actually, don't answer that. I've seen your work.
And in other rich beeotch news, Paris and her Greek shipping heir boyfriend had a pillow fight. His last name, upon a glance, kinda looks like "Nachos", but it's not. (Hmmm...Greek nachos...with feta cheese?)
Speaking Of Ross' Ex: Rachel Green named GQ's Man of the Year, flabby man-boobs and all. I'm...I'm all confused now.
Good Monkey: The Blow Monkeys "Digging Your Scene". Mon-kay.
monkeys and nachos. they are the foundation of any good blog, y'know. :)
Posted by: kara | Wednesday, 16 November 2005 at 12:40