We'll Never Have Paris: As if recent ads for Hardee's/Carl's Jr. weren't provocative enough, it seems their creative team have topped themselves with a commercial featuring everyone's favorite amateur porn icon, Paris Hilton, washing a car "with hoses shooting everywhere and her soaping everything up".    Sure makes me hungry for a BBQ Six Dollar Burger, innit?  The ad is said to be so "hot" (to use Paris' favorite albeit unimaginative catchphrase), that it may never be cleared for broadcast.  Which is a shame, really.  Paris Hilton is so woefully underexposed right now.  And while we're on the subject of rich beeyotches, exactly what did Nicole Richie do to fall out of favor with Paris?  I can't help but think it has something to do with Paris' T-Mobile Sidekick being hacked, but then again, it wouldn't surprise me if it were about the mens.  So instead of Nicole on the next riveting edition of The Simple Life, we'll have to endure Rod Stewart's baby girl Kimberly.  Wahey.

Bedroom Idol: Staying in the muck and sleaze that is the Fox Television Network, what to think of allegations that Paula "I Look Batshit Crazy, Don't I" Abdul bedded former contestants Corey Clark, Justin "Eraserhead" Guarini, and god knows who else?  Sleeping with the judges is hardly a new phenomenon in the entertainment biz, and American Idol does seem a bit dodgy, what with its alleged voting irregularities, contradictory policies on eligibility and prior experience/criminal record/porn career, and obvious ties to Satan himself.   By comparison, American Idol has been pretty tame to this point.  Kelly Clarkson is about as all-American as it gets, Ruben is/was an upstanding citizen, and for the most part, the other contestants have been thoroughly screened for pop palatability.  Maybe American Idol needs a little spice in its soup, even if this so-called scandal is mild as opposed to three-alarm.  What's interesting is that in neither case did it help the contestants, unless it surfaces that Ruben Studdard grooved to Paula's vibeology. Now that would be a bombshell.

Latin Revolution Update: Three items of interest from AdAge today...

1) XM Satellite Radio is launching a sports channel en espanol in July.  The channel will air baseball, boxing and the 2006 FIFA World Cup among other Mexican and Latin American sporting events.  XM was already running Spanish Major League Baseball broadcasts as part of its $650-million deal.   There may even be a bigger market for Spanish-language sports on satellite radio than English-language, as los deportes is largely unserved on terrestrial radio.  (There's a whole other post about how the Latin explosion will ultimately fuel a resurgence in boxing as a major sport, and could possibly lift baseball back on par with football in the next 10 years.)

2) Ford Motor Company will sell its Mexican-made F-150 Lobo north of the border, targeting Hispanic truck buyers.  To promote it, Ford will feature singer and soap star Pablo Montero in their creative.  Montero will also perform a Ford-sponsored Cinco de Mayo concert in Dallas on May 1.  Ford expects to sell many of their Lobos in border states, occupied by Mexican Hispanics for whom Lobo is already an established brand.  already sells the Mexican-made Lobo south of the border.   Not only is the Ford F-Series the best selling line for U.S. truck buyers, it is also the best selling line for Hispanic truck buyers.  Shock!  Hispanics like and buy things other Americans like!  I've heard rumors they drink a lot of Budweiser too!

3) I shouldn't be patting MSN on the back for this, because they're way late on this, but they've just launched a Spanish language version of its MSN Video channel for MSN Latino subscribers.  One revelation (at least to MSN), "Most people on MSN Latino are bilingual," said Karen Redetzki, MSN production manager.  Add Microsoft to the list of companies walking the fine line between barely serving the market and pandering.